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| Articles | December 16, 2009

Sometimes in life we stumbled across situations in which we should’ve said no, but because of various reasons such as being shy, ashamed or afraid we cannot firmly refuse and later we regret our weakness.

No matter what the circumstances, how can we say no without having to hurt the other person’s feelings? Although it is possible not to succeed, we can at least try to ease the pain for the person involved. Any answer that sounds like: “No, I won’t give you what you want” means a great disappointment and a feeling of failure for the one that came to you with the proposal. Remember that the idea of not getting what they want is hard for everyone.

If in your mind and heart you can foresee the possibility to accept a proposition, choose carefully the answer. Under no circumstances use lines like:” What do you mean? Me and You? Are you out of your mind?” Think a little bit and you will realize that the person you are about to hurt so rudely made you a compliment by waiting your company or your help. Even if not interested, you should answer in such a manner that won’t make him or her regret taking the risk to ask.

Some help might be the following list of advice combined with your personal experience.

Think hard before giving an answer. Ask yourself if there might be any circumstances that could make you take that proposition. Express yourself as clearly and friendly as possible. Use sentences as: “If only you didn’t live that far…” or “The thing is I’m not feeling well now”.

Use “I feel” instead of “You make me feel”. There is no need for the other party to feel guilty. Try and entertain a positive conversation. Show and tell what you like about him or her.

If you just know the other isn’t for you, don’t give desert hope. You have to refuse firmly, but elegantly.

If you are tempted to accept but still have doubts then you can give some hope and the next step will have to be yours.

Any situations that become a threat and the person is too pushy and makes you feel uncomfortable is a situation that requires a drastic approach. Then forget about manners and stop being polite, act firmly and set boundaries.

Many of us encounter difficulty whenever we have to say no. If you are in this situation, practice and learn about this because it is better to refuse than to regret later.

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